Edit: in hindsight this seems too emotive and uncouth and I kinda don’t like how my comment is on a post on wholesomeness. Feel free to DM me a response instead if you prefer. I’m not interested in creating a scene. I legitimately was just shocked by the update I received.
Wait… wat… I’m sorry for the blunt question but,
You masterbated before she even arrived at the house? That is a monumental update that has my brain ringing. Any LW/EA space I go to where you are brought up in passing there seems to be a model of the event constructed that a huge part (in fact, the majority) of the inappropriateness was because she was in the same building when you let her know you’re just “going to the other room” etc etc.
On one level I hope I’m just in the minority and missed this for not following closely enough, but if not—I’m sorry—why the fuck was this not more clearly pointed out? It seems a huge difference to the story.
Sorry, I didn’t realise until reading your comment today that that was a prevalent reading. (Although in retrospect it makes some sense.)
I think this error is pretty related to the original errors. I had a bunch of illusion of transparency and some psychological block around possible interpretations of things I did as sex-seeking. Also at the time of the public discussion I just felt really bad and it seemed kind of appropriate that people should think badly of me (I understood that they did think badly, but not the detail of that).
By the time I’d largely worked through the psychological issues and talked further about things publicly (in my December update, or my response to the EV investigation), it seemed better to talk at a more general level about what had gone wrong, and not try to rehash the original discussion. (I was aware that I’d be able to talk about it more clearly vs where I was last year, but I don’t think it’s a super comfortable topic of conversation for anyone, and it’s not clear the extra clarity made it worth getting into it.)
Edit: in hindsight this seems too emotive and uncouth and I kinda don’t like how my comment is on a post on wholesomeness. Feel free to DM me a response instead if you prefer. I’m not interested in creating a scene. I legitimately was just shocked by the update I received.
Wait… wat… I’m sorry for the blunt question but,
You masterbated before she even arrived at the house? That is a monumental update that has my brain ringing. Any LW/EA space I go to where you are brought up in passing there seems to be a model of the event constructed that a huge part (in fact, the majority) of the inappropriateness was because she was in the same building when you let her know you’re just “going to the other room” etc etc.
On one level I hope I’m just in the minority and missed this for not following closely enough, but if not—I’m sorry—why the fuck was this not more clearly pointed out? It seems a huge difference to the story.
Sorry, I didn’t realise until reading your comment today that that was a prevalent reading. (Although in retrospect it makes some sense.)
I think this error is pretty related to the original errors. I had a bunch of illusion of transparency and some psychological block around possible interpretations of things I did as sex-seeking. Also at the time of the public discussion I just felt really bad and it seemed kind of appropriate that people should think badly of me (I understood that they did think badly, but not the detail of that).
By the time I’d largely worked through the psychological issues and talked further about things publicly (in my December update, or my response to the EV investigation), it seemed better to talk at a more general level about what had gone wrong, and not try to rehash the original discussion. (I was aware that I’d be able to talk about it more clearly vs where I was last year, but I don’t think it’s a super comfortable topic of conversation for anyone, and it’s not clear the extra clarity made it worth getting into it.)