I’ve always been very afraid of intimacy and extremely reclusive, even quasi-agoraphobic. For those who know the terms “NEET” and “hikikomori”, they describe me pretty well. But the possibility that I will not live to be forty years old has been weighing on me more and more—in fact I’ve had the weird, unfounded fear that I would die young literally my entire life, which I mostly shoved in the back of my mind—and I am considering trying to find some way to escape the rut I’ve been in since my teenage years, leave my parents’ house, and… have real life experiences, before the world changes beyond my ability to predict.
To a limited extent, I have begun to the past month or so. Staying on a friend’s organic farm. It’s not much, but it’s something. I definitely feel healthier, physically and emotionally. But less time to think. So it’s a tradeoff.
I’ve always been very afraid of intimacy and extremely reclusive, even quasi-agoraphobic. For those who know the terms “NEET” and “hikikomori”, they describe me pretty well. But the possibility that I will not live to be forty years old has been weighing on me more and more—in fact I’ve had the weird, unfounded fear that I would die young literally my entire life, which I mostly shoved in the back of my mind—and I am considering trying to find some way to escape the rut I’ve been in since my teenage years, leave my parents’ house, and… have real life experiences, before the world changes beyond my ability to predict.
Have I actually done so yet?
...no.
This is a reminder that time has passed and you should consider actually trying.
To a limited extent, I have begun to the past month or so. Staying on a friend’s organic farm. It’s not much, but it’s something. I definitely feel healthier, physically and emotionally. But less time to think. So it’s a tradeoff.