Question for discussion: How would you suggest we use the idea of defense mechanisms in theory or practice?
It’s definitely important to keep from messing up big, but I think it’s often underestimated how much value there is to be had in noticing and changing defensive responses when you aren’t stressed and burned out. When you’re burned out, it’s often tough to figure out what you want to do instead because it means adding another problem to solve.
When you’re more or less “okay” though, defensive responses are so much easier to change because they’re likely not there out of necessity but rather just “hadn’t noticed yet”. If you look closely, they’re still all over the place and the value of non-defensive responses adds up.
The strategy I suggest involves noticing whether you’re being defensive no matter what, asking yourself whether you’re “okay” and can afford to not be defensive, to do it when you can afford it, and when you feel like you can’t afford to do without defensiveness to do it without shame and with an active awareness of what you’re losing, what conditions would cause you to change tactics, and highlighting it for what it is so that it can be contained. This way the easy changes become easier (because you know you always have the option of backing off), and failure becomes easier to recover from (because you’re not digging yourself deeper trying to avoid the inevitable, or failing to prepare for it properly).
It’s definitely important to keep from messing up big, but I think it’s often underestimated how much value there is to be had in noticing and changing defensive responses when you aren’t stressed and burned out. When you’re burned out, it’s often tough to figure out what you want to do instead because it means adding another problem to solve.
When you’re more or less “okay” though, defensive responses are so much easier to change because they’re likely not there out of necessity but rather just “hadn’t noticed yet”. If you look closely, they’re still all over the place and the value of non-defensive responses adds up.
The strategy I suggest involves noticing whether you’re being defensive no matter what, asking yourself whether you’re “okay” and can afford to not be defensive, to do it when you can afford it, and when you feel like you can’t afford to do without defensiveness to do it without shame and with an active awareness of what you’re losing, what conditions would cause you to change tactics, and highlighting it for what it is so that it can be contained. This way the easy changes become easier (because you know you always have the option of backing off), and failure becomes easier to recover from (because you’re not digging yourself deeper trying to avoid the inevitable, or failing to prepare for it properly).