This is not my original observation but I haven’t seen it mentioned yet in this discussion:
The reason a middle school or high school student feels awkward, disconnected and asocial may not be that he/she has anything at all wrong with them. In fact, the problem may just be that middle school and high school are horrible places which encourage human beings’ worst tendencies and stifle any opportunities for positive interaction and self-actualization.
If you feel awkward in the cafeteria at lunch time and you don’t know or like anyone around you, that’s because James Bond would probably feel awkward in that situation. I think part of the perceived awkwardness comes from asking yourself what you should be doing in this situation and not finding an answer. There is no action you can take that will make that situation not somewhat awkward. As an adult in that situation I might try to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but do not forget that middle schoolers are not adults. If you could rely on middle schoolers to be affable and collegial, we wouldn’t remember those years as the worst of our lives.
I didn’t realize any of this until I grew up, and I’m not even sure if it would have been helpful for me to know. If you tell a prisoner that it’s okay, everything is fine after you get out of prison, that doesn’t really help them much. Maybe as a fix I would suggest that young people try to become members of groups not related to school, such as Scouts and martial arts schools and sports.
The reason a middle school or high school student feels awkward, disconnected and asocial may not be that he/she has anything at all wrong with them. In fact, the problem may just be that middle school and high school are horrible places which encourage human beings’ worst tendencies and stifle any opportunities for positive interaction and self-actualization.
I hear this a lot from the Less Wrong and SingInst crowd, but I’d like to say that I thought high school was awesome despite also being incredibly painful at points (to the extent that I dropped out during my senior year).
This is not my original observation but I haven’t seen it mentioned yet in this discussion:
The reason a middle school or high school student feels awkward, disconnected and asocial may not be that he/she has anything at all wrong with them. In fact, the problem may just be that middle school and high school are horrible places which encourage human beings’ worst tendencies and stifle any opportunities for positive interaction and self-actualization.
If you feel awkward in the cafeteria at lunch time and you don’t know or like anyone around you, that’s because James Bond would probably feel awkward in that situation. I think part of the perceived awkwardness comes from asking yourself what you should be doing in this situation and not finding an answer. There is no action you can take that will make that situation not somewhat awkward. As an adult in that situation I might try to strike up a conversation with a stranger, but do not forget that middle schoolers are not adults. If you could rely on middle schoolers to be affable and collegial, we wouldn’t remember those years as the worst of our lives.
I didn’t realize any of this until I grew up, and I’m not even sure if it would have been helpful for me to know. If you tell a prisoner that it’s okay, everything is fine after you get out of prison, that doesn’t really help them much. Maybe as a fix I would suggest that young people try to become members of groups not related to school, such as Scouts and martial arts schools and sports.
I hear this a lot from the Less Wrong and SingInst crowd, but I’d like to say that I thought high school was awesome despite also being incredibly painful at points (to the extent that I dropped out during my senior year).
Please elaborate...
Surely it can’t have been that bad for everyone, otherwise there’d be an outrage!
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People never seem to talk about Boarding Schools as opposed to Normal Schools.… Nor do they compare it much wioth Homeschooling.