Thanks for providing your perspective. I understand now that poly people get the sense of specialness in other ways, although how they accomplish it still eludes me on a visceral level. Intellectually, I see Alicorn and her insistence on being primary and on being able to demand exclusive time as accomplishing this sort of thing, but it still feels like not enough. But that’s just (unhacked) me. Thanks again.
Intellectually, I see Alicorn and her insistence on being primary and on being able to demand exclusive time as accomplishing this sort of thing, but it still feels like not enough.
These were parameters that either of us would have insisted upon, BTW. I’d been in a more nearly “undifferentiated partners” arrangement previously and had felt really insufficiently cared-for.
Thanks for providing your perspective. I understand now that poly people get the sense of specialness in other ways, although how they accomplish it still eludes me on a visceral level. Intellectually, I see Alicorn and her insistence on being primary and on being able to demand exclusive time as accomplishing this sort of thing, but it still feels like not enough. But that’s just (unhacked) me. Thanks again.
From my other dialogue with you, I suspect that the difficulty is that you seek a much higher level of specialness than many poly people do.
To me, the level of specialness you seek would seem actively undesirable; while to you the level of specialness I enjoy might seem insufficient.
These were parameters that either of us would have insisted upon, BTW. I’d been in a more nearly “undifferentiated partners” arrangement previously and had felt really insufficiently cared-for.