Well, as I attempted to express in the original comment, I am not a Shaiva, but rather I had mystical experiences and things as a teen that led me to invent my own religion from scratch which has similarities with various other belief systems, and Kashmir Shaivism is one of them. For the most part however it’s just a kind of background element of my existence, part of my ontology, and not something I put much attention towards actively anymore. In practice I’m effectively an atheist physicalist like everyone else here. It’s just… there’s also something that lurks beneath. Or there used to be. I’ve gotten more disillusioned, more empty-souled and this-worldly as I’ve gotten older, and I don’t really know how to get back the way I used to feel. Probably psychedelics is the only way; meditation doesn’t do anything for me.
Well, as I attempted to express in the original comment, I am not a Shaiva, but rather I had mystical experiences and things as a teen that led me to invent my own religion from scratch which has similarities with various other belief systems, and Kashmir Shaivism is one of them. For the most part however it’s just a kind of background element of my existence, part of my ontology, and not something I put much attention towards actively anymore. In practice I’m effectively an atheist physicalist like everyone else here. It’s just… there’s also something that lurks beneath. Or there used to be. I’ve gotten more disillusioned, more empty-souled and this-worldly as I’ve gotten older, and I don’t really know how to get back the way I used to feel. Probably psychedelics is the only way; meditation doesn’t do anything for me.