I think the view I’d take is somewhere in between this view and the view that Duncan described.
If I’m sending out invites to a small dinner party, I’d just alternate between inviting Alex and Bradley.
However, if it’s an open invite thing, it seems like the official policy should be that Alex and Bradley are both invited (assuming all parties are in good standing with the group in general), but if I happen to be close to Bradley I might privately suggest that they skip out on some events so that Alex can go, because that seems like the decent thing to do. (And if Bradley does skip, I would probably consider that closer to supererogatory rather than mandatory and award them social points for doing so.)
Similarly, if I’m close to Alex, I might nudge them towards doing whatever processing is necessary to allow them to coexist with Bradley, so that Bradley doesn’t have to skip.
So I’m agreeing with you that official policy for open-invite things should be that both are invited. But I think I’m disagreeing about whether it’s ever reasonable to expect Bradley to skip some events for the sake of Alex.
I think the view I’d take is somewhere in between this view and the view that Duncan described.
If I’m sending out invites to a small dinner party, I’d just alternate between inviting Alex and Bradley.
However, if it’s an open invite thing, it seems like the official policy should be that Alex and Bradley are both invited (assuming all parties are in good standing with the group in general), but if I happen to be close to Bradley I might privately suggest that they skip out on some events so that Alex can go, because that seems like the decent thing to do. (And if Bradley does skip, I would probably consider that closer to supererogatory rather than mandatory and award them social points for doing so.)
Similarly, if I’m close to Alex, I might nudge them towards doing whatever processing is necessary to allow them to coexist with Bradley, so that Bradley doesn’t have to skip.
So I’m agreeing with you that official policy for open-invite things should be that both are invited. But I think I’m disagreeing about whether it’s ever reasonable to expect Bradley to skip some events for the sake of Alex.