it was strange to read it. it was interesting—explaining point i already know in succinct and effective way. and it’s connect nicely with the extensive discussion on consent and boundaries. Boundaries: Your Yes Means Nothing if You Can’t Say No.
and then, when i was reading the comments and still internalizing the post i got it—i actually re-invented this concept myself! it could have been so nice not to have to do it… i wrote my own post about it—in Hebrew. it’s name translates to Admit that sometimes the answer is “yes”, and it start with a story about woman that claimed to believe in personal optimization of diet my experiments on yourself, but then find a reason no invalidate every result that contradicted her own believes about optimal diet. it took me years to notice the pattern.
and then, this comment about budgeting and negotiating with yourself that empathized how important it is to allow the answer to be “yes”:
”I’m seeing a lot of people recommend stopping before making small or impulse purchases and asking yourself if you really, really want the thing. That’s not bad advice, but it only works if the answer is allowed to be ‘yes.’ If you start by assuming that you can’t possibly want the thing in your heart of hearts, or that there’s something wrong with you if you do, it’s just another kind of self-shaming. “
it’s kind of like 5, but from the point of view of different paradigm.
it was strange to read it. it was interesting—explaining point i already know in succinct and effective way. and it’s connect nicely with the extensive discussion on consent and boundaries. Boundaries: Your Yes Means Nothing if You Can’t Say No.
and then, when i was reading the comments and still internalizing the post i got it—i actually re-invented this concept myself! it could have been so nice not to have to do it… i wrote my own post about it—in Hebrew. it’s name translates to Admit that sometimes the answer is “yes”, and it start with a story about woman that claimed to believe in personal optimization of diet my experiments on yourself, but then find a reason no invalidate every result that contradicted her own believes about optimal diet. it took me years to notice the pattern.
and then, this comment about budgeting and negotiating with yourself that empathized how important it is to allow the answer to be “yes”:
”I’m seeing a lot of people recommend stopping before making small or impulse purchases and asking yourself if you really, really want the thing. That’s not bad advice, but it only works if the answer is allowed to be ‘yes.’ If you start by assuming that you can’t possibly want the thing in your heart of hearts, or that there’s something wrong with you if you do, it’s just another kind of self-shaming. “
it’s kind of like 5, but from the point of view of different paradigm.
and of course, If we can’t lie to others, we will lie to ourselves.
it’s all related to the same concept. but i find the different angels useful.