When I am very angry with my romantic partner, what I feel is anger. I don’t feel the futility of throwing a tantrum, or the availability of other options like honest communication, or freewriting, or taking a deep breath. My attention is so narrowly focused on the object of my anger that I’m likely not even aware that I’m angry, let alone that my anger might be blinding me to my art.
This reminds me of what my ex-wife sometimes said after a dispute with me (which could get quite heated on her side):
“During the dispute I know in the back of my mind what I should say—the right thing to do.”
Interesting typology. I can’t exactly place us. But if I’d say that she was rather cutlery-loader in the sense that in our arguments she vented frustration and the things she said were often more about the effect than about truth. And if I said anything that hurt her it were truth I indeed wouldn’t say because I knew them to hurt her.
This reminds me of what my ex-wife sometimes said after a dispute with me (which could get quite heated on her side):
Does this sound familiar?
Is/was she a truth-shouter or a cutlery-loader?
Interesting typology. I can’t exactly place us. But if I’d say that she was rather cutlery-loader in the sense that in our arguments she vented frustration and the things she said were often more about the effect than about truth. And if I said anything that hurt her it were truth I indeed wouldn’t say because I knew them to hurt her.
See this for more context.