You can choose to ignore all these “unreasonable norms”, but they still have consequences. Such as people thinking you are an asshole. Or leaving the organization because of you. It is easy to underestimate these costs, because most of the time people won’t tell you (or they will, but you will ignore them and quickly forget).
This is a cost that people working with Nate should not ignore, even if Nate does.
I see three options:
try making Nate change—this may not be possible, but I think it’s worth trying;
isolate Nate from… well, everyone else, except for volunteers who were explicitly warned;
hire a separate person whose full time job will be to make Nate happy.
Anything else, I am afraid, will mean paying the costs and most likely being in denial about them.
I see at least two other options (which, ideally, should be used in tandem):
don’t hire people who are so terribly sensitive to above-average blutness
hire managers who will take care of ops/personnel problems more effectively, thus reducing the necessity for researchers to navigate interpersonal situations that arise from such problems
don’t hire people who are so terribly sensitive to above-average blutness
If I translate it mentally to “don’t hire people from the bottom 99% of thick skin”, I actually agree. Though they may be difficult to find, especially in combination with other requirements.
Do you really think it’d take 99th percentile skin-thickness to deal with this sort of thing without having some sort of emotional breakdown? This seems to me to be an extraordinary claim.
Are you available for the job? ;-)
While I probably qualify in this regard, I don’t think that I have any other relevant qualifications.
My experience is that people who I think of as having at least 90th percentile (and probably 99th if I think about it harder) thick-skin have been brought to tears from an intense conversation with Nate.
My guess is that this wouldn’t happen for a lot of possible employees from the broader economy, and this isn’t because they’ve got thicker skin, but it’s because they’re not very emotionally invested in the organization’s work, and generally don’t bring themselves to their work enough to risk this level of emotion/hurt.
My experience is that people who I think of as having at least 90th percentile (and probably 99th if I think about it harder) thick-skin have been brought to tears from an intense conversation with Nate.
This is a truly extraordinary claim! I don’t know what evidence I’d need to see in order to believe it, but whatever that evidence is, I sure haven’t seen it yet.
My guess is that this wouldn’t happen for a lot of possible employees from the broader economy, and this isn’t because they’ve got thicker skin, but it’s because they’re not very emotionally invested in the organization’s work, and generally don’t bring themselves to their work enough to risk this level of emotion/hurt.
This just can’t be right. I’ve met a decent number of people who are very invested in their work and the mission of whatever organization they’re part of, and I can’t imagine them being brought to tears by “an intense conversation” with one of their co-workers (nor have I heard of such a thing happening to the people I have in mind).
Something else is going on here, it seems to me; and the most obvious candidate for what that “something else” might be is simply that your view of what the distribution of “thick-skinned-ness” is like, is very mis-calibrated.
(Don’t know why some folks have downvoted the above comment, seems like a totally normal epistemic state for Person A not to believe what Person B believes about something after simply learning that Person B believes it, and to think Person B is likely miscalibrated. I have strong upvoted the comment back to clearly positive.)
You can choose to ignore all these “unreasonable norms”, but they still have consequences. Such as people thinking you are an asshole. Or leaving the organization because of you. It is easy to underestimate these costs, because most of the time people won’t tell you (or they will, but you will ignore them and quickly forget).
This is a cost that people working with Nate should not ignore, even if Nate does.
I see three options:
try making Nate change—this may not be possible, but I think it’s worth trying;
isolate Nate from… well, everyone else, except for volunteers who were explicitly warned;
hire a separate person whose full time job will be to make Nate happy.
Anything else, I am afraid, will mean paying the costs and most likely being in denial about them.
I see at least two other options (which, ideally, should be used in tandem):
don’t hire people who are so terribly sensitive to above-average blutness
hire managers who will take care of ops/personnel problems more effectively, thus reducing the necessity for researchers to navigate interpersonal situations that arise from such problems
If I translate it mentally to “don’t hire people from the bottom 99% of thick skin”, I actually agree. Though they may be difficult to find, especially in combination with other requirements.
Are you available for the job? ;-)
Do you really think it’d take 99th percentile skin-thickness to deal with this sort of thing without having some sort of emotional breakdown? This seems to me to be an extraordinary claim.
While I probably qualify in this regard, I don’t think that I have any other relevant qualifications.
My experience is that people who I think of as having at least 90th percentile (and probably 99th if I think about it harder) thick-skin have been brought to tears from an intense conversation with Nate.
My guess is that this wouldn’t happen for a lot of possible employees from the broader economy, and this isn’t because they’ve got thicker skin, but it’s because they’re not very emotionally invested in the organization’s work, and generally don’t bring themselves to their work enough to risk this level of emotion/hurt.
This is a truly extraordinary claim! I don’t know what evidence I’d need to see in order to believe it, but whatever that evidence is, I sure haven’t seen it yet.
This just can’t be right. I’ve met a decent number of people who are very invested in their work and the mission of whatever organization they’re part of, and I can’t imagine them being brought to tears by “an intense conversation” with one of their co-workers (nor have I heard of such a thing happening to the people I have in mind).
Something else is going on here, it seems to me; and the most obvious candidate for what that “something else” might be is simply that your view of what the distribution of “thick-skinned-ness” is like, is very mis-calibrated.
To me the obvious candidate is that people are orienting around Nate in particular in an especially weird way.
(Don’t know why some folks have downvoted the above comment, seems like a totally normal epistemic state for Person A not to believe what Person B believes about something after simply learning that Person B believes it, and to think Person B is likely miscalibrated. I have strong upvoted the comment back to clearly positive.)