I started posting on Less Wrong in 2011, learned about effective altruism, and four years later landed in the Bay Area. I was an ICU nurse in my past life, did several years of EA direct work in operations roles, and in 2022 spent a year writing for Vox Future Perfect.
You can find my fiction here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swimmer963
There are certain lies that I tell over and over again, where I’m 99% sure lying is the morally correct answer. Stereotypical example: my patient is lying in a lake of poop, or is ringing the call bell for the third time in 15 minutes to tell me that they’re thirsty or in pain or need a kleenex, and they’re embarrassed and upset because they’re sure I must be frustrated and mad that they’re making me do so much work. “Of course I don’t mind,” I’ve said over and over again. “This doesn’t bother me. I’ve got plenty of time. I just want you to be comfortable, that’s my job.” When it’s 4 am and I desperately want to go on break and eat something, none of these things are true. But it’s my job, and I want to want to do it, so the fact that sometimes I desperately don’t want to do it is kind of moot. But the last thing a patient in the ICU needs to hear from their nurse is “yes, I’m pissed that you shat in the bed again because I was about to go on break and now I can’t and I’m hungry and cranky.” I keep that to myself.
...Other than that, I generally don’t lie to friends, although I do lie by omission, especially when it comes to my irrational feelings of frustration or irritation with things they do. I’m generally not bothered by being very open with people about i.e. my relationships or other personal things, so I’m confused when other people want to lie or conceal information about these sorts of things. I actually have a really hard time keeping up with other people’s systems of lying; when you’re friends with two people who both have specific lists of things they don’t want you to ever tell the other person, it gets complicated. (For almost a year my best friend was dating a man without telling her ex-husband, and I was seeing her ex-husband every time I went to play with my godson, and I had to remember to lie about a whole bunch of random things like “what did you and my ex-wife do on Saturday?” I respected that it was her choice whether or not to tell him, but I still found this really, really irritating.)