When getting married meant “having a wife that would take care of you so you can focus on your works” or even “get a big fortune/political power from your wife” it was certainly beneficial for ambitious or want-to-be world changing MEN to get married. For women it was pretty different, and as a matter of fact the (rare) examples of women I know who were hugely influential before the 20th century often went unmarried (think Sophie Germain, Maria Gaetana Agnesi, Hypatia, or Johan of Arc, Catherine of Sienna...).
For women holding positions of power, a general trend seems to be that they held power either as a regent for an absent husband or underage child, or if holding the power in their own name kept unmarried. Elisabeth I of England is an obvious example.
I’ve always used “Tao” to mean “brillant mathematicians” but I also think he has surprisingly eclectic research interests and in particular has done significant work in image processing, which shows a willingness to work on applied mathematics and may be relevant for AI work.
I must say however that I’ve changed my mind on this issue and that AI alignment research would be better served by hiring a shit ton of PhD students with a promise of giving 80% of them 3-5 years short term research positions after their PhD and giving 80% of those tenure afterward. I think we made a mistake by assuming that pre paradigmatic research means only genius are useful, and that a pure number strategy would help a lot (also genius mathematicians willing to work on interesting problems are not that much interested in money overwise they would work in finance, but they are very much interested by getting a fixed stable position before 35. The fact that France is still relevant in mathematical research while under paying its researcher by a lot is proof of that).