She’s almost 29, isn’t prone of declarations of the kind at all (one of those ironic people who don’t give much weight to others not giving much weight to what she said once), and hasn’t done anything truly inconsistent with the claim in the last 6-7 years. She has talked about this issue with her friends, though many of them are child-free based on other considerations and so might not have steel manned homemaking. Her mother, who was the one to diagnose her father, has taken her to see a psychiatrist, who prescribed some antidepressants, I think (she also has some stress at her job during that time).
I talked to her about informed consent, and she did not answer me explicitly, but I think her objections would be of the sort ‘people swear to help without any idea of what it entails, and since I have an idea through living with my parents, and do not wish to suffer through explaining it in sufficient detail, the honest thing is to not force others to choose.’
She’s also unlikely to start living separately, unless she does find a postdoc in another country.
(nods) Yeah, that’s tricky. I’d be tempted to ask how she would feel about a prenup that specified a forcible divorce if she was diagnosed, but that would mostly just be a joke in bad taste.
Maybe there are third-party sources of information she could point potential suitors to?
She might not find the joke in bad taste. I am not sure what youmean by third-party sources, though. She has a sister with a wildly different opinion on the matter (‘ah well, it’s not like anybody’s free from deleterious alleles, so my kid might obtain worse from my husband, but we still are going to have one’) and she knows marriage != procreation for many men, but… She’s still ‘morally obliged’ to stay with her parents until the end.
By third-party sources I mean, like, if the AMA or APA has a brochure entitled “So Your Spouse Is Schizophrenic… What Now?” Something that would provide potential suitors with the relevant facts without her having to explain it all (yet again).
She’s almost 29, isn’t prone of declarations of the kind at all (one of those ironic people who don’t give much weight to others not giving much weight to what she said once), and hasn’t done anything truly inconsistent with the claim in the last 6-7 years. She has talked about this issue with her friends, though many of them are child-free based on other considerations and so might not have steel manned homemaking. Her mother, who was the one to diagnose her father, has taken her to see a psychiatrist, who prescribed some antidepressants, I think (she also has some stress at her job during that time).
I talked to her about informed consent, and she did not answer me explicitly, but I think her objections would be of the sort ‘people swear to help without any idea of what it entails, and since I have an idea through living with my parents, and do not wish to suffer through explaining it in sufficient detail, the honest thing is to not force others to choose.’
She’s also unlikely to start living separately, unless she does find a postdoc in another country.
(nods) Yeah, that’s tricky.
I’d be tempted to ask how she would feel about a prenup that specified a forcible divorce if she was diagnosed, but that would mostly just be a joke in bad taste.
Maybe there are third-party sources of information she could point potential suitors to?
She might not find the joke in bad taste. I am not sure what youmean by third-party sources, though. She has a sister with a wildly different opinion on the matter (‘ah well, it’s not like anybody’s free from deleterious alleles, so my kid might obtain worse from my husband, but we still are going to have one’) and she knows marriage != procreation for many men, but… She’s still ‘morally obliged’ to stay with her parents until the end.
By third-party sources I mean, like, if the AMA or APA has a brochure entitled “So Your Spouse Is Schizophrenic… What Now?” Something that would provide potential suitors with the relevant facts without her having to explain it all (yet again).
Thank you. I’ll look it up and talk to her. At worst, she’ll laugh.