Internal experience is very important for things like this. Citing it is a valid response, and your friends ought to respect that, even in an “ask culture” where they are welcome to push you and ask hard questions.
Personal effort does generate stress (sometimes distress, sometimes eustress). Although a doctor can use crude tools like e.g. checking your blood pressure, you have a much more sensitive ability to understand your body and stress level than anyone else. Most of us have less of that ability than would be ideal, so we should value and cultivate what we do have.
That said, “this is stressful/unsustainable” doesn’t mean that it was a bad idea to give that thing a try. Like you said, “have to try it to know it.” Nor does it necessarily mean that it would continue to be equally stressful/unsustainable if you were to continue. New routines come with a transaction cost of added stress. Sometimes if you can get over that hump, it gets better. Sometimes not.
Even “my body is telling me no” about something that would not in fact get easier with practice doesn’t necessarily mean that your productivity is capped at that level. It just means your “working harder” is capped at that level, currently. “Working smarter” is sometimes an option. And your personal budget for stress will wax and wane depending on outside factors. E.g. sleep, nutrition, security, social affirmation, etc. We are still in a pandemic, and many coping methods for replenishing ourselves have been unavailable for a long time. So maybe now just isn’t the time.
I think it was good that you listened to your body, and good that you’re asking these questions about the value and nature of personal experience and how to communicate it.
this makes sense, but I am also in the reverse position where I saw a friend heading down a destructive path where he is constantly complaining about his current situation and also claim that he is at the limit of will power to change [even before the covid thing].
I am at a loss as to how I should evaluate his statement to determine my action. i.e. should I take his statement at face value and let him arrange his own life to suit his limited capacity or should I push him to change despite his statement otherwise?
in short, I found it hard to determine if other people actually hit their limit or not.
You can say:
“My body’s telling me I’m stressed.”
“My body’s telling me this isn’t sustainable.”
“My body’s telling me no.”
Internal experience is very important for things like this. Citing it is a valid response, and your friends ought to respect that, even in an “ask culture” where they are welcome to push you and ask hard questions.
Personal effort does generate stress (sometimes distress, sometimes eustress). Although a doctor can use crude tools like e.g. checking your blood pressure, you have a much more sensitive ability to understand your body and stress level than anyone else. Most of us have less of that ability than would be ideal, so we should value and cultivate what we do have.
That said, “this is stressful/unsustainable” doesn’t mean that it was a bad idea to give that thing a try. Like you said, “have to try it to know it.” Nor does it necessarily mean that it would continue to be equally stressful/unsustainable if you were to continue. New routines come with a transaction cost of added stress. Sometimes if you can get over that hump, it gets better. Sometimes not.
Even “my body is telling me no” about something that would not in fact get easier with practice doesn’t necessarily mean that your productivity is capped at that level. It just means your “working harder” is capped at that level, currently. “Working smarter” is sometimes an option. And your personal budget for stress will wax and wane depending on outside factors. E.g. sleep, nutrition, security, social affirmation, etc. We are still in a pandemic, and many coping methods for replenishing ourselves have been unavailable for a long time. So maybe now just isn’t the time.
I think it was good that you listened to your body, and good that you’re asking these questions about the value and nature of personal experience and how to communicate it.
this makes sense, but I am also in the reverse position where I saw a friend heading down a destructive path where he is constantly complaining about his current situation and also claim that he is at the limit of will power to change [even before the covid thing].
I am at a loss as to how I should evaluate his statement to determine my action. i.e. should I take his statement at face value and let him arrange his own life to suit his limited capacity or should I push him to change despite his statement otherwise?
in short, I found it hard to determine if other people actually hit their limit or not.