Hi, everyone. I’m Lawrence and I’m a college freshman. I like to read, program, and do math in my spare time.
I grew up in the Bay Area with science and religion as my two ideals. My family was religious and went to church every Sunday, but at the same time they put a strong emphasis on learning science—by the time I was in fourth grade, the amount of science books my parents bought me (and that I read) filled an entire bookshelf. I loved religion because I felt like it gave meaning to the world, teaching us to be kind and to respect one another. But, perhaps paradoxically, that made me love science as well, for science gave us medicine, technologies, and other ways to help the poor and heal the sick, things that God commanded us to do.
My faith in religion took a hit in 5th grade, when a close family member was diagnosed with cancer. Neither the prayers of our Christian friends nor the medicine of her doctors helped. We moved to China to pursue alternate treatment, but in the end nothing could save her, and she passed away. I pleaded with God to bring her back, to enact some miracle. No miracles happened. Some of our Christian friends told us that it was all God’s plan, and that she was with God now. But I remembered asking myself, if God is so great, why did He cause us so much suffering?
I asked myself this question, and I found no answer. I read the Bible again and I looked online, but still, no answer. In fact, I found many arguments against the existence of God, and against my faith. Most famous scientists, I discovered, also didn’t believe that God existed. And so I slowly, painfully moved away from my faith.
Having turned myself away from God, I devoted myself to doing good in the world. I resolved to help end suffering, I told my family. They called me crazy. The suffering in the world wasn’t going to end itself, I retorted angrily. They were amused. After that, I weighed the options before me: either I could study science, and maybe maybe invent something that could help the world, or, I could try to become rich, and then donate my money to charities and researchers who could then help the world. I decided to choose the latter. So I set down my science books and picked up economics books and biographies.
However, I always felt there was more time. After all, I was making some money off my investments, I read a lot more books than most of my peers, and I had taught myself calculus by 8th grade. My classes were easy. I started slacking off. I stopped reading as many books as I used to. I am ashamed to say this, but I lost my ambition. It was only through a combination of talent, prior knowledge, and luck that I managed to make it all the way through middle and high school.
I discovered LessWrong around December of last year, through HPMOR. I quickly tore through all the sequences in less than three months. Boy, did it have an effect. The things said here resonated with me. After reading Challenging the Difficult, I realized how far I had to improve, and how complacent I had become. After How to Actually Change Your Mind, I looked out at the world and saw how many problems there were to fix. After reading My Coming of Age, I felt that spark again, the will to do good in the world and to fight against poverty, ignorance, and death.
LessWrong made me panic, because it gave me a sense of how great these problems are. It also gave me hope, because it showed me a path to self-improvement. It was the first time I felt truly awed and outclassed, but also really motivated. Truly, there would be no god to save us. If we don’t work hard enough, if we aren’t smart enough, we can and will die.
Today I’m trying to improve myself. I’ve been doing two hours of math a day—I am almost done with multivariate calculus and am looking to begin probability theory soon. I finished a course on R a while ago and halfway through Learn You a Haskell For Great Good. Like Harry at the end of HPMOR, I am climbing the power ladder, albeit from very far down.
People ask me sometimes, what motivates you? Why don’t you go out and have fun? And to them I reply with a quote from John Donne. “Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
I am involved in mankind. I’m going to fight for it, and I’m not going to give up we reach the stars or die trying. It’s not going to be easy. I know it’s not. But it’s not a fight we can give up on.
Thank you for sharing your story. You’re passion is quite clear and I’m glad you’ve decided to join in the conversation. Your drive is impressive. And infectious. It’s the sort of energy we (or, at least, I) feed off of around here. You will definitely find people who share you’re need for desperate action. I’m curious what you’re current plans after college are. Do you have an idea what it is you want to do with your skills and knowledge? You seem to already have the “get rich” thing sewn up so that it’s no longer you’re main goal.
Have you looked into some of the sister organizations LW associates with? It sounds like you’re the type who likes to get involved, so a CFAR workshop or MIRI internship might be something you would get a lot out of. There are also LessWrong Meetups, which are great for meeting other LWers, having some good discussion, and gaining a little fun on the side.
Glad to have you join the conversation! Hope to see you around.
Thanks! Unfortunately I’m not sure if I’m good enough at math for an MIRI internship. Also, I don’t think there are any CFAR workshops in my area, especially any during break. :P
I’m not sure about what I’ll do after college—I’ve looked through most of the 80k Hr career options, but still can’t decide between earning to give via quantitative trading/consulting/investment banking, tech entrepreneurship, and research.
Hi, everyone. I’m Lawrence and I’m a college freshman. I like to read, program, and do math in my spare time.
I grew up in the Bay Area with science and religion as my two ideals. My family was religious and went to church every Sunday, but at the same time they put a strong emphasis on learning science—by the time I was in fourth grade, the amount of science books my parents bought me (and that I read) filled an entire bookshelf. I loved religion because I felt like it gave meaning to the world, teaching us to be kind and to respect one another. But, perhaps paradoxically, that made me love science as well, for science gave us medicine, technologies, and other ways to help the poor and heal the sick, things that God commanded us to do.
My faith in religion took a hit in 5th grade, when a close family member was diagnosed with cancer. Neither the prayers of our Christian friends nor the medicine of her doctors helped. We moved to China to pursue alternate treatment, but in the end nothing could save her, and she passed away. I pleaded with God to bring her back, to enact some miracle. No miracles happened. Some of our Christian friends told us that it was all God’s plan, and that she was with God now. But I remembered asking myself, if God is so great, why did He cause us so much suffering?
I asked myself this question, and I found no answer. I read the Bible again and I looked online, but still, no answer. In fact, I found many arguments against the existence of God, and against my faith. Most famous scientists, I discovered, also didn’t believe that God existed. And so I slowly, painfully moved away from my faith.
Having turned myself away from God, I devoted myself to doing good in the world. I resolved to help end suffering, I told my family. They called me crazy. The suffering in the world wasn’t going to end itself, I retorted angrily. They were amused. After that, I weighed the options before me: either I could study science, and maybe maybe invent something that could help the world, or, I could try to become rich, and then donate my money to charities and researchers who could then help the world. I decided to choose the latter. So I set down my science books and picked up economics books and biographies.
However, I always felt there was more time. After all, I was making some money off my investments, I read a lot more books than most of my peers, and I had taught myself calculus by 8th grade. My classes were easy. I started slacking off. I stopped reading as many books as I used to. I am ashamed to say this, but I lost my ambition. It was only through a combination of talent, prior knowledge, and luck that I managed to make it all the way through middle and high school.
I discovered LessWrong around December of last year, through HPMOR. I quickly tore through all the sequences in less than three months. Boy, did it have an effect. The things said here resonated with me. After reading Challenging the Difficult, I realized how far I had to improve, and how complacent I had become. After How to Actually Change Your Mind, I looked out at the world and saw how many problems there were to fix. After reading My Coming of Age, I felt that spark again, the will to do good in the world and to fight against poverty, ignorance, and death.
LessWrong made me panic, because it gave me a sense of how great these problems are. It also gave me hope, because it showed me a path to self-improvement. It was the first time I felt truly awed and outclassed, but also really motivated. Truly, there would be no god to save us. If we don’t work hard enough, if we aren’t smart enough, we can and will die.
Today I’m trying to improve myself. I’ve been doing two hours of math a day—I am almost done with multivariate calculus and am looking to begin probability theory soon. I finished a course on R a while ago and halfway through Learn You a Haskell For Great Good. Like Harry at the end of HPMOR, I am climbing the power ladder, albeit from very far down.
People ask me sometimes, what motivates you? Why don’t you go out and have fun? And to them I reply with a quote from John Donne. “Any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.”
I am involved in mankind. I’m going to fight for it, and I’m not going to give up we reach the stars or die trying. It’s not going to be easy. I know it’s not. But it’s not a fight we can give up on.
I look forward to contributing here!
Hello and welcome to LessWrong!
Thank you for sharing your story. You’re passion is quite clear and I’m glad you’ve decided to join in the conversation. Your drive is impressive. And infectious. It’s the sort of energy we (or, at least, I) feed off of around here. You will definitely find people who share you’re need for desperate action. I’m curious what you’re current plans after college are. Do you have an idea what it is you want to do with your skills and knowledge? You seem to already have the “get rich” thing sewn up so that it’s no longer you’re main goal.
Have you looked into some of the sister organizations LW associates with? It sounds like you’re the type who likes to get involved, so a CFAR workshop or MIRI internship might be something you would get a lot out of. There are also LessWrong Meetups, which are great for meeting other LWers, having some good discussion, and gaining a little fun on the side.
Glad to have you join the conversation! Hope to see you around.
Thanks! Unfortunately I’m not sure if I’m good enough at math for an MIRI internship. Also, I don’t think there are any CFAR workshops in my area, especially any during break. :P
I’m not sure about what I’ll do after college—I’ve looked through most of the 80k Hr career options, but still can’t decide between earning to give via quantitative trading/consulting/investment banking, tech entrepreneurship, and research.