As someone with plenty of experience being full of contempt for just about everyone and (mostly) not being a bastard about it, I kind of think the most helpful lens is less philosophical per se and more practical and ~political. Namely, libertarianism and the knowledge problem.
The world is full of idiots. The country is full of idiots. The government is full of idiots. The corporations are full of idiots. The charities, the social media feeds, the buses and trains, they’re all full of idiots. Some of those are more true than they were twenty years ago but they were all true then too.
But they still know their own lives better than us. They do things that are objectively kind of terrible like get payday loans and buy tons of lottery tickets, but almost always it’s because the better options are blocked off to them or not as good as they look, even if it’s not possible to explain why to an outsider like us even if we were to poke our nose in and ask. (And they wanted to answer for some ungodly reason.)
Libertarianism mostly likes to talk about how the government should butt out and let people live their lives. And this is true, it should. But the same argument also applies to elitists. Yes, they’re doing a bunch of dumb shit, and probably if they were smarter they would change some of it and make their lives better, but you can’t just drop yourself into their lives and ‘fix’ things and expect it to work out. Some of it would make things worse, some of it would theoretically make things better but only if you changed their entire social sphere at once too, and some of it you wouldn’t notice you’d fucked up for years. And mostly that’s still true if “drop yourself into their lives” is replaced with “give insistent well-meaning advice” or “ruminate on how they’re idiots and if they just listened to you, the superior person, they’d be better”. (Okay, the practical issues prohibiting getting any positive impact from ruminating are mostly more obvious than this. But this too.)
Calibrating appropriately is hard. You do, sometimes, want to give advice once or twice. If you figure out when to do that and when to back off, tell me, please. What advice I could try to give there is neither specific nor wonderfully effective so I won’t bother.
But I think this is generally pretty effective at being, technically, contemptuous of most strangers you interact with but mostly keeping it from being something they notice or one of the top three things you notice when having a conversation with them, and that’s pretty good at not encouraging behaving contemptuously, and that’s pretty good at avoiding steeping in contempt until your standards for lack of contempt rise, and then apply to precisely seven people in the world none of whom is you. (Which I think is a risk here.) And that’s, I suspect, at least what you need short-term.
As someone with plenty of experience being full of contempt for just about everyone and (mostly) not being a bastard about it, I kind of think the most helpful lens is less philosophical per se and more practical and ~political. Namely, libertarianism and the knowledge problem.
The world is full of idiots. The country is full of idiots. The government is full of idiots. The corporations are full of idiots. The charities, the social media feeds, the buses and trains, they’re all full of idiots. Some of those are more true than they were twenty years ago but they were all true then too.
But they still know their own lives better than us. They do things that are objectively kind of terrible like get payday loans and buy tons of lottery tickets, but almost always it’s because the better options are blocked off to them or not as good as they look, even if it’s not possible to explain why to an outsider like us even if we were to poke our nose in and ask. (And they wanted to answer for some ungodly reason.)
Libertarianism mostly likes to talk about how the government should butt out and let people live their lives. And this is true, it should. But the same argument also applies to elitists. Yes, they’re doing a bunch of dumb shit, and probably if they were smarter they would change some of it and make their lives better, but you can’t just drop yourself into their lives and ‘fix’ things and expect it to work out. Some of it would make things worse, some of it would theoretically make things better but only if you changed their entire social sphere at once too, and some of it you wouldn’t notice you’d fucked up for years. And mostly that’s still true if “drop yourself into their lives” is replaced with “give insistent well-meaning advice” or “ruminate on how they’re idiots and if they just listened to you, the superior person, they’d be better”. (Okay, the practical issues prohibiting getting any positive impact from ruminating are mostly more obvious than this. But this too.)
Calibrating appropriately is hard. You do, sometimes, want to give advice once or twice. If you figure out when to do that and when to back off, tell me, please. What advice I could try to give there is neither specific nor wonderfully effective so I won’t bother.
But I think this is generally pretty effective at being, technically, contemptuous of most strangers you interact with but mostly keeping it from being something they notice or one of the top three things you notice when having a conversation with them, and that’s pretty good at not encouraging behaving contemptuously, and that’s pretty good at avoiding steeping in contempt until your standards for lack of contempt rise, and then apply to precisely seven people in the world none of whom is you. (Which I think is a risk here.) And that’s, I suspect, at least what you need short-term.