There is a very helpful model of the human: = a person has needs there are approximating lists—https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory- whenever need is met, we generate pleasant feelings - whenever need is not met, we generate unpleasant feeling
- paying attention to feelings can help us discover unmet needs, even if we aren’t initially conscious of them
= there is an important difference between ‘a strategy’ and ’a need’ understanding of which can change behavior significantly
”need” is something that can be satisfied in many ways. model proposes, that if we don’t fixate on the strategy and satisfy the need in a different way it will be just as good.
with clear understanding of these things lots of conflicts can be solved. conflict is often when people try to satisfy their needs with strategies that don’t satisfy needs of another.
focusing on needs and not on strategies can help us find different ways that satisfy all included.
This is applicable to sub-minds or sub-agents within one person.
Some needs are overlooked by society. E.g my need for being seen, for friendly acknowledgement of my (light) struggles is unsatisfied at this moment. To the extent that I initially thought to dedicate idea of “me wanting more understanding, and being afraid to ask for it” as the most important.
(NVC in general turned out to be a very important tool for me)
There is a very helpful model of the human:
= a person has needs
there are approximating lists—https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/needs-inventory- whenever need is met, we generate pleasant feelings
- whenever need is not met, we generate unpleasant feeling
- paying attention to feelings can help us discover unmet needs, even if we aren’t initially conscious of them
= there is an important difference between ‘a strategy’ and ’a need’
understanding of which can change behavior significantly
”need” is something that can be satisfied in many ways.
model proposes, that if we don’t fixate on the strategy and satisfy the need in a different way
it will be just as good.
with clear understanding of these things lots of conflicts can be solved.
conflict is often when people try to satisfy their needs with strategies that don’t satisfy needs of another.
focusing on needs and not on strategies can help us find different ways that satisfy all included.
This is applicable to sub-minds or sub-agents within one person.
Some needs are overlooked by society.
E.g my need for being seen, for friendly acknowledgement of my (light) struggles is unsatisfied at this moment.
To the extent that I initially thought to dedicate idea of “me wanting more understanding, and being afraid to ask for it” as the most important.
(NVC in general turned out to be a very important tool for me)