Upon consideration, I think I have pinpointed what bothers me about the bit in the post about Crocker’s Rules. It’s the imposition on the reader, not just of potentially offensive content, but also of a waiver of the right to object to the content as being offensive.
That is, I don’t object to this part:
Submitters were told to not hold back for politeness
Fine and well. A good warning.
, so this is your warning that Crocker’s Rules apply to the following content
But this part seems to suggest that by reading this, I’m waiving my right to say, e.g., “Wait a bit, this isn’t just impolite, this is offensive! This reads like an insult!” It seems like the warning is saying: “If you find this offensive, too bad. By reading this, you’re agreeing to shut up and take it” — and I don’t think that prefacing your post with that is conducive to good discussion, not at all.
Note: I don’t actually think any of the anecdotes in this post are offensive.
Note: I don’t actually think any of the anecdotes in this post are offensive.
Me neither. I think the post needs a more specific set of ground rules, something like “the anonymous submitters are putting themselves out on the line here, and in order to have the most honest and useful discussion, they were told not to hold back for politeness...but they’ll probably be reading all your comments and replies, so in order to encourage future honest and useful discussions, please don’t respond angrily or rudely, since that will discourage submitters in the future from being honest.” Which isn’t quite in the spirit of Crocker’s Rules. (I don’t know if ‘Crocker’s Warning’ is a concept that has actually been elaborated...is it?)
In general when people say “I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to get angry/offended/etc.”, my response is along the lines of:
“I can’t and won’t promise that. I do promise that I will make an effort to temper any knee-jerk reaction I might have, and to give thought to your words and to my response before I say anything. I try to do this in all of my interactions with people whom I respect, but in this case I promise to make a special effort.”
And if that’s not good enough… well, then it seems my interlocutor doesn’t care that much about telling me whatever it is they wish to tell me.
Upon consideration, I think I have pinpointed what bothers me about the bit in the post about Crocker’s Rules. It’s the imposition on the reader, not just of potentially offensive content, but also of a waiver of the right to object to the content as being offensive.
That is, I don’t object to this part:
Fine and well. A good warning.
But this part seems to suggest that by reading this, I’m waiving my right to say, e.g., “Wait a bit, this isn’t just impolite, this is offensive! This reads like an insult!” It seems like the warning is saying: “If you find this offensive, too bad. By reading this, you’re agreeing to shut up and take it” — and I don’t think that prefacing your post with that is conducive to good discussion, not at all.
Note: I don’t actually think any of the anecdotes in this post are offensive.
Me neither. I think the post needs a more specific set of ground rules, something like “the anonymous submitters are putting themselves out on the line here, and in order to have the most honest and useful discussion, they were told not to hold back for politeness...but they’ll probably be reading all your comments and replies, so in order to encourage future honest and useful discussions, please don’t respond angrily or rudely, since that will discourage submitters in the future from being honest.” Which isn’t quite in the spirit of Crocker’s Rules. (I don’t know if ‘Crocker’s Warning’ is a concept that has actually been elaborated...is it?)
These ground rules seem reasonable.
In general when people say “I want to tell you something, but you have to promise not to get angry/offended/etc.”, my response is along the lines of:
“I can’t and won’t promise that. I do promise that I will make an effort to temper any knee-jerk reaction I might have, and to give thought to your words and to my response before I say anything. I try to do this in all of my interactions with people whom I respect, but in this case I promise to make a special effort.”
And if that’s not good enough… well, then it seems my interlocutor doesn’t care that much about telling me whatever it is they wish to tell me.