At the sentence and paragraph level the story is very well written, but overall I think you’d have made your point better (and it would’ve fared better as sci-fi) if the ending were more ambiguous. For now it just implies that the fantasy world is American party politics in funny suits: yay to racial equality, boo to the corrupt establishment! The acknowledgements do dispel this impression somewhat, so you could just move them into the story page as Kaj Sotala suggested.
At the sentence and paragraph level the story is very well written, but overall I think you’d have made your point better (and it would’ve fared better as sci-fi) if the ending were more ambiguous. For now it just implies that the fantasy world is American party politics in funny suits: yay to racial equality, boo to the corrupt establishment! The acknowledgements do dispel this impression somewhat, so you could just move them into the story page as Kaj Sotala suggested.
That said, IAWYC completely, and upvoted.