Insecurity and shame feel to me like having a high probability on being disliked or in the wrong, and of this having high consequences. This leads to a “reasonable suspicion” standard of jurisprudence, and a sort of stop-and-frisk approach to self-policing.
Security feels like moving to a “beyond a reasonable doubt” standard. If I get worried about being disliked or in the wrong, then if I can construct an argument for why this might not be so, or that it doesn’t matter, then I’m “free to go.”
As a result, I think my inner prosecutor has realized that it shouldn’t waste so much time with needless accusations and investigations. It has a lower probability of success, so it comes at me less often. Even when it does bring frivolous lawsuits, my inner defender feels more confident that they’re nothing to be truly afraid of, even as it does the work to mount a defense.
I think this might also operate in social relationships, not just personal psychology. If I think you experience a lot of insecurity or shame, then I might tend to coddle you. It feels uncomfortable to be coddled, at least to me, and so if somebody treated me that way, I think it might reinforce my insecurity and create a positive feedback loop.
Insecurity and shame feel to me like having a high probability on being disliked or in the wrong, and of this having high consequences. This leads to a “reasonable suspicion” standard of jurisprudence, and a sort of stop-and-frisk approach to self-policing.
Security feels like moving to a “beyond a reasonable doubt” standard. If I get worried about being disliked or in the wrong, then if I can construct an argument for why this might not be so, or that it doesn’t matter, then I’m “free to go.”
As a result, I think my inner prosecutor has realized that it shouldn’t waste so much time with needless accusations and investigations. It has a lower probability of success, so it comes at me less often. Even when it does bring frivolous lawsuits, my inner defender feels more confident that they’re nothing to be truly afraid of, even as it does the work to mount a defense.
I think this might also operate in social relationships, not just personal psychology. If I think you experience a lot of insecurity or shame, then I might tend to coddle you. It feels uncomfortable to be coddled, at least to me, and so if somebody treated me that way, I think it might reinforce my insecurity and create a positive feedback loop.