I just generally think your overall impression of this story is off. I’ll stick to your point about coherency for concision. It seems to me at about the level of previous models. Three small points, two big ones.
Small 1: It sets up with the opening line that the therapist tilts her head when Marcus says something “she finds concerning”. She then immediately does the head tilt without him having said anything.
Small 2: Does the normal LLM things such as repetition (“laughed, actually laughed”), making callbacks and references that don’t work (see Small 3), cliche ridden (Blake quitting a dull job and going not-for-profit route) and simple weirdness.
Example of the last of these is “‘But I’m also crying a little. Can you tell?’ She could tell. She handed me a tissue.”
Like, of course someone can tell if you have physical tears? What is this?
Small 3: The final line is confused? “She laughed. Actually laughed. Seventeen times was definitely the record.” Either this is intended to mean that she won’t say “concerned” anymore so the record will stand at the 17 established in the previous session OR she laughed 17 times, which is a new record? If it’s the former, Marcus shouldn’t be the one saying “concerned” and the line should be “I guess seventeen times will remain the record”. If it’s the latter, it should be clearer. “She laughed. Seventeen times. A new record.”
Big 1: It is setting up for a joke about a loopy kind of therapy (maybe a spoof of a certain kind of therapy) and instead the therapy works? So the plot is: man goes to silly therapy. Is cured. I feel this is an intent issue. It’s like an author writing a story quickly and so losing sight of their original idea. Case in point: The story starts with dry humour then halfway through the rate of jokes drops off and the remaining jokes are mawkish.
Big 2: The authorial voice drops off too. At the beginning he’s giving a commentary on everything he’s experiencing, then therapy starts and he simply relays what’s happening to the reader.
I think you’ve maybe hoodwinked yourself? You gave it all your writing as context and it reflected enough of your taste back at you that it seemed stronger than previous tests (I’ve only read one of your stories and I saw that it copied a character, Sophia?)
Personally I’d love the models to make great art. Machine art! Fun. Unfortunately they’re not there yet. We’ll see if your prediction works out.
I just generally think your overall impression of this story is off. I’ll stick to your point about coherency for concision. It seems to me at about the level of previous models. Three small points, two big ones.
Small 1: It sets up with the opening line that the therapist tilts her head when Marcus says something “she finds concerning”. She then immediately does the head tilt without him having said anything.
Small 2: Does the normal LLM things such as repetition (“laughed, actually laughed”), making callbacks and references that don’t work (see Small 3), cliche ridden (Blake quitting a dull job and going not-for-profit route) and simple weirdness.
Example of the last of these is “‘But I’m also crying a little. Can you tell?’ She could tell. She handed me a tissue.”
Like, of course someone can tell if you have physical tears? What is this?
Small 3: The final line is confused? “She laughed. Actually laughed. Seventeen times was definitely the record.” Either this is intended to mean that she won’t say “concerned” anymore so the record will stand at the 17 established in the previous session OR she laughed 17 times, which is a new record? If it’s the former, Marcus shouldn’t be the one saying “concerned” and the line should be “I guess seventeen times will remain the record”. If it’s the latter, it should be clearer. “She laughed. Seventeen times. A new record.”
Big 1: It is setting up for a joke about a loopy kind of therapy (maybe a spoof of a certain kind of therapy) and instead the therapy works? So the plot is: man goes to silly therapy. Is cured. I feel this is an intent issue. It’s like an author writing a story quickly and so losing sight of their original idea. Case in point: The story starts with dry humour then halfway through the rate of jokes drops off and the remaining jokes are mawkish.
Big 2: The authorial voice drops off too. At the beginning he’s giving a commentary on everything he’s experiencing, then therapy starts and he simply relays what’s happening to the reader.
I think you’ve maybe hoodwinked yourself? You gave it all your writing as context and it reflected enough of your taste back at you that it seemed stronger than previous tests (I’ve only read one of your stories and I saw that it copied a character, Sophia?)
Personally I’d love the models to make great art. Machine art! Fun. Unfortunately they’re not there yet. We’ll see if your prediction works out.
I am mostly surprised at the humor being more humory and less humor-like-substancy.