Go after polyamory all you want—if there is data about problems that are statistically likely to show up, I’d like to know about that, so that I can try minimizing the odds that we will experience them—and we do experience some of the standard poly jealousy problems—but if you are going to shoot a sacred cow, bring a high powered rifle, not a squirt gun.
This argument is vague and anecdotal. Being polyamorous, I automatically feel defensive when you, without putting out evidence, say that my lifestyle, my wife’s lifestyle, and the life style of my other partners and metamours are all dangerous, bad, and we are making bad choices despite having tried our best to get things right.
Go after polyamory all you want—if there is data about problems that are statistically likely to show up, I’d like to know about that, so that I can try minimizing the odds that we will experience them—and we do experience some of the standard poly jealousy problems—but if you are going to shoot a sacred cow, bring a high powered rifle, not a squirt gun.
I’ll fully admit that I don’t have formal statistical data, but I think the point is worth making anyway as a potential warning. My intent is mostly to warn newcomers about patterns I’ve seen rather than to shame people already in the community; I certainly do not claim that every poly relationship is abusive or the like.
(Part of the reason I posted this in shortform rather than as a top-level post is because I was hoping to just send a quick warning rather than posting something more formal and detailed!)
Go after polyamory all you want—if there is data about problems that are statistically likely to show up, I’d like to know about that, so that I can try minimizing the odds that we will experience them—and we do experience some of the standard poly jealousy problems—but if you are going to shoot a sacred cow, bring a high powered rifle, not a squirt gun.
This argument is vague and anecdotal. Being polyamorous, I automatically feel defensive when you, without putting out evidence, say that my lifestyle, my wife’s lifestyle, and the life style of my other partners and metamours are all dangerous, bad, and we are making bad choices despite having tried our best to get things right.
I’ll fully admit that I don’t have formal statistical data, but I think the point is worth making anyway as a potential warning. My intent is mostly to warn newcomers about patterns I’ve seen rather than to shame people already in the community; I certainly do not claim that every poly relationship is abusive or the like.
(Part of the reason I posted this in shortform rather than as a top-level post is because I was hoping to just send a quick warning rather than posting something more formal and detailed!)