The reason in the past was probably disease and/or unintended pregnancy, and both of those can be fixed now. Also concerns about making sure women wouldn’t cheat on their husbands and leave them raising someone else’s kid, I think. The third reason, which is still applicable today, is that hiring a sex worker signals “can’t get sex without paying, therefore undesirable” but that’s probably not too big of a deal.
I’m a virgin at 25 (which is not the same as being a virgin at 55). One reason I haven’t used a prostitute is that I don’t want to admit to losing my virginity to a prostitute, and I also don’t want to lie about it.
As I told Epictetus, please don’t go on an omega male rampage like Elliot Rodger.
I can see why regular women feel ambivalent about prostitutes, BTW. On the one hand prostitutes handle the load of sexually satisfying the kinds of men regular women find repulsive. But on the other hand prostitutes seem to demonstrate that women can function sexually with almost any man through an act of will, without invoking the mystical claim about needing to feel “chemistry” with the man first.
“I want to have lots of sex, and can’t find anyone who wants to do it with me. But look, here are these people who not only get all the sex anyone could want—they even get paid for it! How dare they! Why should they so easily get what I want and can’t get?”
(For the avoidance of doubt: I am not in any way endorsing either the opinions or attitudes expressed there.)
It’s hard to know large numbers of other people’s motivations. My first guess is that some men really resent that they can’t get sex for their intrinsic wonderfulness, and prostitutes remind them of that fact.
On the other hand, I don’t know whether men who hate prostitutes don’t have non-monetary sex.
Looking at it from the outside, it’s just weird—it’s like resenting restaurant cooks because they aren’t making home-cooked meals for their families.
So far as money is concerned, I’ve seen a man describing women as “sitting on the bank”, but that seems to be resentment of women for having a source of financial security that men don’t have.
There’s a big difference between ‘function sexually’ and ‘getting what she wants from the encounter in itself’. There’s a big difference between the prostitute/client relationship and between lovers, just as there’s a big difference between an accountant/client relationship and a married couple, one of whom has balanced the books (or better, after they balanced their books together).
A woman’s sheer ability to perform can require only an act of will (in some cases), but for it to be part of the basis of a relationship requires a lot more things, which are what they mean by ‘chemistry’.
For anybody reading this: save for one very lucky encounter at 18, I was too. It happens. Three years later, I’ve spent nearly all that time in sexual relationships, sometimes more than one at once. The turn-around can come really quickly. I’m not sure I have enough information to pinpoint the changes I need to make, though.
The reason in the past was probably disease and/or unintended pregnancy, and both of those can be fixed now. Also concerns about making sure women wouldn’t cheat on their husbands and leave them raising someone else’s kid, I think. The third reason, which is still applicable today, is that hiring a sex worker signals “can’t get sex without paying, therefore undesirable” but that’s probably not too big of a deal.
I’m a virgin at 25 (which is not the same as being a virgin at 55). One reason I haven’t used a prostitute is that I don’t want to admit to losing my virginity to a prostitute, and I also don’t want to lie about it.
As I told Epictetus, please don’t go on an omega male rampage like Elliot Rodger.
I can see why regular women feel ambivalent about prostitutes, BTW. On the one hand prostitutes handle the load of sexually satisfying the kinds of men regular women find repulsive. But on the other hand prostitutes seem to demonstrate that women can function sexually with almost any man through an act of will, without invoking the mystical claim about needing to feel “chemistry” with the man first.
Also, especially when monogamy is a strong social norm, prostitutes break up a wife’s monopoly on sex for her husband.
What I can’t figure out is why some noticeable proportion of heterosexual men hate prostitutes.
My bet is that they process it as a purity/sacredness violation.
“I want to have lots of sex, and can’t find anyone who wants to do it with me. But look, here are these people who not only get all the sex anyone could want—they even get paid for it! How dare they! Why should they so easily get what I want and can’t get?”
(For the avoidance of doubt: I am not in any way endorsing either the opinions or attitudes expressed there.)
It’s hard to know large numbers of other people’s motivations. My first guess is that some men really resent that they can’t get sex for their intrinsic wonderfulness, and prostitutes remind them of that fact.
On the other hand, I don’t know whether men who hate prostitutes don’t have non-monetary sex.
Looking at it from the outside, it’s just weird—it’s like resenting restaurant cooks because they aren’t making home-cooked meals for their families.
So far as money is concerned, I’ve seen a man describing women as “sitting on the bank”, but that seems to be resentment of women for having a source of financial security that men don’t have.
There’s a big difference between ‘function sexually’ and ‘getting what she wants from the encounter in itself’. There’s a big difference between the prostitute/client relationship and between lovers, just as there’s a big difference between an accountant/client relationship and a married couple, one of whom has balanced the books (or better, after they balanced their books together).
A woman’s sheer ability to perform can require only an act of will (in some cases), but for it to be part of the basis of a relationship requires a lot more things, which are what they mean by ‘chemistry’.
For anybody reading this: save for one very lucky encounter at 18, I was too. It happens. Three years later, I’ve spent nearly all that time in sexual relationships, sometimes more than one at once. The turn-around can come really quickly. I’m not sure I have enough information to pinpoint the changes I need to make, though.