I think there’s likely a pretty big selection effect on who posts in these discussions about community, because the only reason I’m even here to comment at all is that the in-person rationalist community helped me build the confidence to do so. Before moving in with the LW team, I was so shy and low-self-esteem that I didn’t think myself worthy to even talk to the people whose names I’d seen online. I spent the last two years of college wishing desperately for the return of the rationalists I knew who had all up and moved to the Bay, but never once reaching out to them, because I didn’t feel like I was smart or cool enough to be worth their time. The first time I posted on LW I was so nervous that I cried for an hour before pressing submit, and I only got to that point in the first place because someone was sitting next to me giving me encouragement and basically holding my hand through all of it.
I’m also not good at making friends online and don’t enjoy spending much of my time interacting online, so for the people who have said that they get plenty of value out of just being part of the rationalist community online, well, that wouldn’t work for me either.
The problem with your last question—about meeting other smart nice sane people—is that you’re assuming I would have met people otherwise. My expectation after college was that I’d move to a new city and basically spend all of my time alone, just like I had for most of my life up to that point. I’d make friendly acquaintances at work and then come home to an empty apartment, forever. If I got lonely I could call my mom.
Instead I moved to the Bay (yes, solely to be part of the rationalist community) and into a rationalist group house. I’m not a techie, I didn’t have a job lined up, and I only knew a couple people in the community, and those not very well. Being thrust into that social environment headfirst was really important for me, because I don’t think I ever would have gotten over the social hurdles of interacting with rationalists otherwise and would have spent the rest of my life pretty lonely—or else just moved back to my hometown, which is what my sister and almost all of our friends ended up doing.
I think there’s likely a pretty big selection effect on who posts in these discussions about community, because the only reason I’m even here to comment at all is that the in-person rationalist community helped me build the confidence to do so. Before moving in with the LW team, I was so shy and low-self-esteem that I didn’t think myself worthy to even talk to the people whose names I’d seen online. I spent the last two years of college wishing desperately for the return of the rationalists I knew who had all up and moved to the Bay, but never once reaching out to them, because I didn’t feel like I was smart or cool enough to be worth their time. The first time I posted on LW I was so nervous that I cried for an hour before pressing submit, and I only got to that point in the first place because someone was sitting next to me giving me encouragement and basically holding my hand through all of it.
I’m also not good at making friends online and don’t enjoy spending much of my time interacting online, so for the people who have said that they get plenty of value out of just being part of the rationalist community online, well, that wouldn’t work for me either.
The problem with your last question—about meeting other smart nice sane people—is that you’re assuming I would have met people otherwise. My expectation after college was that I’d move to a new city and basically spend all of my time alone, just like I had for most of my life up to that point. I’d make friendly acquaintances at work and then come home to an empty apartment, forever. If I got lonely I could call my mom.
Instead I moved to the Bay (yes, solely to be part of the rationalist community) and into a rationalist group house. I’m not a techie, I didn’t have a job lined up, and I only knew a couple people in the community, and those not very well. Being thrust into that social environment headfirst was really important for me, because I don’t think I ever would have gotten over the social hurdles of interacting with rationalists otherwise and would have spent the rest of my life pretty lonely—or else just moved back to my hometown, which is what my sister and almost all of our friends ended up doing.