As some people have pointed out, it’s not a binary choice between you being crazy or delusional, and Christianity being right. Human brains complete patterns, in predictable ways. I don’t know what your experience was (since you’re keeping that private) but there are probably multiple possible worlds that are consistent with your experience: not just “Xaway is nuts” or “Jesus is the Savior.” Think about what might have actually happened and what it might actually mean, and resist pattern-matching for a while.
Just a word of info on this site: this is not a place where people generally debate religion. You sound like you have your doubts; I recommend you read the best atheist arguments (Bertrand Russell comes to mind), and read about the history of the Bible and early Church from a secular academic writer. Let it marinate for a while. Read widely and see what happens to your views. Sometimes debating on the internet isn’t the best way to learn; it crystallizes whatever ideas you started off with and makes it hard to change your mind.
If you would “prefer to abandon Christianity” but your experiences won’t let you, you should really take some time to think about whether your experiences have religious implications. There are naturalistic explanations for religious visions, and no, they don’t all mean you’re crazy. (Check out Oliver Sacks on Hildegard of Bingen, and Robert Sapolsky on St. Paul.)
There are naturalistic explanations for religious visions, and no, they don’t all mean you’re crazy. (Check out Oliver Sacks on Hildegard of Bingen, and Robert Sapolsky on St. Paul.)
I’d also recommend Why God Won’t Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief by Gene D’Aquili and Vince Rauss.
As some people have pointed out, it’s not a binary choice between you being crazy or delusional, and Christianity being right. Human brains complete patterns, in predictable ways. I don’t know what your experience was (since you’re keeping that private) but there are probably multiple possible worlds that are consistent with your experience: not just “Xaway is nuts” or “Jesus is the Savior.” Think about what might have actually happened and what it might actually mean, and resist pattern-matching for a while.
Just a word of info on this site: this is not a place where people generally debate religion. You sound like you have your doubts; I recommend you read the best atheist arguments (Bertrand Russell comes to mind), and read about the history of the Bible and early Church from a secular academic writer. Let it marinate for a while. Read widely and see what happens to your views. Sometimes debating on the internet isn’t the best way to learn; it crystallizes whatever ideas you started off with and makes it hard to change your mind.
If you would “prefer to abandon Christianity” but your experiences won’t let you, you should really take some time to think about whether your experiences have religious implications. There are naturalistic explanations for religious visions, and no, they don’t all mean you’re crazy. (Check out Oliver Sacks on Hildegard of Bingen, and Robert Sapolsky on St. Paul.)
I’d also recommend Why God Won’t Go Away: Brain Science and the Biology of Belief by Gene D’Aquili and Vince Rauss.