Shaving: Less Long

OK, OK, it’s not the weightiest of topics, and it’s not rocket science. But I searched the site for “shaving” and “razor” and didn’t see where it had been previously addressed.

I had a beard for nearly 30 years, but have been shaving again the last 6. I have always (since a brief experimental period in high school) used an electric razor for shaving. So did my daddy and his daddy before him, back through history.. wait, that can’t be right. But my daddy and his daddy did, anyway.

I can shave with my electric in about 45 seconds, or maybe twice that if I’m trying to do a great job. What on earth do men see with wet shaves? Assuming they don’t find the process inherently rewarding, the only argument I’ve heard is that you can get a closer shave. Which brings me to rationality.

Why does one want a close shave? Beard grows continuously throughout the day and night. Let’s take as a guess that after two hours, beard growth will transform a very close wet shave into hair length immediately after an electric shave. Assuming it is the ratio of hair length that determines the relative utility of two different beard configurations, the advantage of the closer shave falls throughout the day. The ratio would be 2.00 after four hours, 1.50 after six hours, etc. If wet shaving takes something like 10 minutes, if desired one could do a second electric shave in the men’s room late in the afternoon and come out with less stubble for the vast majority of the day with less total time invested.

If there is some particular moment at which the least possible beard growth is desirable, for instance for a photo shoot, then I can see the advantage of the closest possible shave. A date is another possibility, though there is anecdotal evidence that some women prefer a hint of stubble to a smooth baby face.

But with those rare exceptions, the goal isn’t to have zero stubble. It’s to have stubble that’s less long.

Similar arguments pertain to various sorts of housecleaning. Since whatever you’re cleaning starts getting dirty again immediately, putting lots of effort into extraordinary levels of cleanliness seems to have little value unless you inherently value that moment of extraordinary cleanliness.